Sadly, Archie Comics use to be seen as so wholesome that the company was entrusted with the task of determining if all the issues put out by other companies lived up to the comics code.
Since this is now deemed acceptable, why not have Archie convert to the Warren Jeffes branch of Fundamentalist Mormonism with the famed redhead wedding both Veronica AND Betty.
Better yet, maybe the three of them can form a polyamorous triad.
It can be revealed that Jossey & The Pussycats are really lesbian furries.
And in one issue, Sabrina the Teenage Witch can be seen going "skyclad" (that's when Wiccans pounce around nude at their ceremonies) or getting it on with her demonic familiar, Salem the Cat