Homeowner Charged For Refusing To Be Mutilated By Bear

A Massachusetts man is being charged for refusing to be mutilated by a marauding bear trespassing across his yard.

Specifically, he is being accused of bear baiting (because he had bird seed in his yard) and for improperly killing a bear.

Bears are also attracted to menstruating women.

Had the bear entered the yard for that reason, would the homeowner still face the same bear baiting charge?

If the charging bear had lunged towards Frau Obama, would Secret Service agents pursuing a similar firearms dependent strategy to rescue her face criminal prosecution?

But then again, that might be doing the bear a mercy than rather to allow it to endure the agony of unending indigestion from consuming such a flatulent wind bag.