Friday, May 25, 2007

Apparently I’m Not The Only One With Bad Grammar & Poor Logic

I came across a blog entry on the Net where I am criticized for criticizing Emergent Church kingpin Brian McLaren.

Foremost among the grievances rank alleged grammar errors and lapses in logic.

As to the grammar errors, perhaps so and frankly I don’t care because in light of the number of illegals that are going to be allowed to stay here in the coming years if so-called immigration reform passes, any English flowing from my pen is by default on par with Shakespeare.

When people start paying me a million dollars for these columns, I’ll waste what few years of eyesight I have left to ferret them out.

But the most comical thing about that criticism is that the allegation has been levied by someone that uses “i” rather than “I” throughout the entire blog entry. Isn’t the capitalization of “I” about one of the first rules of grammar one learns in first or second grade if one’s school has not been given over to wasting the scholastic day brainwashing students with viewings of “Brokeback Mountain” and the like?

Or maybe such a glaring mistake is deliberate and merely a manifestation of the rampant communalism infecting the Emergent Church movement.

For you see, “I” has traditionally been capitalized in the English language to denote the importance of the individual. However, in many of these churches, the congregations have been so beaten over the head about the dangers of individualism that they have begun to think of themselves only as members of the group or COMMUNITY and to forego personal recognition; unless of course you happen to be one of the bigwigs running one of these hovels of heresy. Then of course by all means you get to have your name up in lights and fritter across the countryside telling the troglodytes paying for your airfare why they are so evil for driving SUV’s and living in single family houses.

The second criticism is even more ironic than the first in that they accuse me of faulty logic.

For those not familiar with the tenets of the Emergent Church movement, it is the contention of this particular theological perspective that the genius of Christianity is not to be found in the LOGICAL or FACUTAL accuracy of its truth claims but rather in how warm and fuzzy its NARRRRRATIVE makes you feel.

And if some other system of thought floats you boat such as Hollywood style Buddhism or a particular doctrine of Christianity makes you uncomfortable such as those that reject Christ are sent to Hell, that’s no biggie either since in the end we’re all gonna get to Heaven anyway but that’s not important anymore either as the point of salvation is not to enjoy a splendid afterlife in the presence of the Almighty reunited with dearly departed loved ones but rather to have our income redistributed to a bunch of lazy bums unwilling to get off their rear ends and provide for themselves.

Besides, in this postmodern age, whose to say who’s right and who’s wrong?

Why the Emergent Church crowd of course, especially if you happen to disagree with one of their head honchos who are accorded a disturbing degree of deference for a movement claiming to be about tearing down traditional hierarchies.

If there is nothing more to religious expression than the thrill one gets from tooting one’s on horn, then why are they raising such a fuss if my column does not hold up to a correspondence theory of veracity? Haven’t the postmoderns in Emergent circles been the ones to popularize the notion that the only truth that matters is that which we ourselves hold?

By Frederick Meekins

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